Deather Exposed
by TheEurpacifamerasian1021
Summary: Heather won Total Drama Action. Now TDA Aftermath is revealing how she pulled it off using an unlikely affair. DuncanHeather, as the name Deather suggests. Rated T for brief language and sexual content.
1. We have a winner!

Warning: This episode of TDA contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by animated teens. Do not try this at home. Seriously. You could get _really _messed up.

"Hello everyone, and welcome back to TDA Aftermath!" exclaimed Geoff.

"You may be wondering why this program is being aired at midnight instead of the usual eight o' clock," said Bridgette.

"That's because this episode involves a lot of mature content," explained Geoff. "This network almost didn't approve of this broadcast, even with the censoring."

"So if you're under eighteen, you probably shouldn't be watching this," warned Bridgette.

"But right now, we have a very special guest, the winner of Total Drama Action, who is so _not _the hottest girl on the show!" cired Geoff.

Bridgette smirked. "Everyone, please welcome Heather!"

Boos resounded as Heather, in a new wig looking even better than her original hair, entered and sat down. "Shut it, losers!" she yelled.

The boos got louder. Heather rolled her eys.

"So, Heather, congratulations for winning," said Geoff.

"But," added Bridgette, "We'd all like to know. How exactly did you win when no one can stand you? I mean, you'd think you would have been voted off a long time ago. Did it have anything to do with a secret alliance?"

"By the time TDA came around, I was _so _done with alliances," explained Heather. "Last season, Lindsay and Beth were such dingbats that they were no help to me at all. So, I decided to play it solo and it clearly paid off."

"Who are you calling a dingbat?!" yelled Lindsay from the audience. "I am sooooo not batlike! I think I look much more like a kitten. Those are way cuter."

"Right," said Heather. "My point exactly. I thought about making an alliance with Harold, but then I realized that I couldn't be on the same team as anyone who thought LeShawna wasn't completely hideous, so I went completely alone. No scheming this time, it was all fair and square." She smiled sweetly.

"For some reason, I find that very hard to believe," said Geoff. "For example, why did Duncan mysteriously drop out after he got to the final three? It didn't make sense."

Heather rolled her eyes. "You think _I _know why that moron blew his chances of winning a million bucks? Why don't you ask him? Or his pathetic hypocrite of a girlfriend? Yoo-hoo, Duncan, Courtney!"

"They're not here," said Gwen. "Duncan took Courtney out to dinner to help her get over her loss. And I don't blame them for not wanting to watch Heather brag about herself."

"Listen, Weird Goth Girl, you're just jealous because I'm a winner and you're a loser!" said Heather. "Hate me all you want but _I'm _the one with the cash, and you're the one who still wears clothes she got from the dollar store."

"So, Heather," said Geoff, "Are you saying that you have no idea why Duncan dropped out?"

Heather patted her wig. "Would you stop asking me such stupid questions? Let's talk about my hair shall we?" She pulled off her wig, revealing that her hair had grown to a pixie cut. "See, after I stopped stressing about winning and people being so mean to me for no reason, my hair was able to grow back. Soon, it'll be long enough that I can put extensions in it and then I won't have to wear a wig! Although, I might just keep it short. I kinda like not having to spend forever on it all the time. What do you--Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" She jumped out of the way just as the anvil came plummeting to the ground. "What was _that_?! Are you trying to kill me?!"

"I wouldn't mind that," said LeShawna.

"It gets good ratings," explained Geoff.

"How about another question, Heather?" asked Bridgette. "Why did you always appear a lot more tired during the challenges than the other competitors? You all got the same amount of sleep."

"Um _hello _could _you _sleep with Beth's obnoxious snor--Aaaaaaaaaah!" She dodged the anvil again. "Okay what the _fuck _people?"

"That's what they do when you lie!" explained DJ. "It's cruel and inhumane! It brings tears to my mama's eyes!"

"Alright, everyone, since Heather won't spit it out, we'll just tell you!" said Geoff.

"Tell?" asked Heather. "Tell what?"

Bridgette waved around a DVD. "We have special never before seen footage of Heather's secret activities on TDA!"

Heather's eyes widened and she got on her knees. "No! Please please _please _don't show those! _Please_! I promised no one would ever find out! And it's _so_ embarrassing! _Please_ I'm _begging _you! Aaaaaaaaah!" Heather narrowly misses a third anvil. "And would it _kill _you to stop doing that?"

Geoff shrugged. "Sorry, Heather, but we already promised the viewers."

"NO!" cried Heather. She ripped the disc from Bridgette's hand and broke it in half.

Bridgette smiled. "No worries, it was already set to go. The DVD was just for dramatic effect." She pointed a remote at the overhead screen, which fuzzed. "And now, the secret to Heather's success!"


	2. An Indiscretion

The screen focused on Heather sitting on the surfboard in the middle of the pool used in "Beach Blanket Bogus". She looked up and sighed.

"Yeah, I _know _it's freezing in here, but Lindsay and Beth and Courtney and LeShawna are _completely _getting on my nerves! Like, Lindsay and Beth need to realize that Justin totally hates them, and Courtney's stupid lawyer can suck it. Oh, and don't even get me _started _on LeShawna! Her ginormous butt takes up half the trailer and her clothes are so ugly I seriously think they're making me go blind. And for crying out loud Chris, I know you're listening, so shut off the damn air conditioning in here since we're not even using this prop anymore!"

* * *

It cut to Chris glancing at the controls for the air conditioning. "Hmmmmm, should I shut it off?" He laughed. "Nah. That's what happens when you wear nothing but halter tops and mini-shorts! I mean, we found out in season one that the girl doesn't even wear a bra! _Seriously. _Although, even speaking as a closeted gay, I still have to say that was pretty hot!" His eyes widened and he glanced at the camera. "Oops, did I just say that on national television? Edit that out!" He bit his nails nervously.

* * *

It cut back to Heather. "I really, really hate this place! But I suppose that when I win my rightfully deserved million dollars, it might be worth it." She smiled, but then scowled as Duncan walked in, whistling.

"Hey toots, what are you doing here?" he asked.

Heather rolled her eyes. "Um, _hello_, I was here first!! This is _my_ stupid freezing pool! What are _you _doing here?"

" I got sick of Harold and Justin. Jeez, it's a free country isn't it?"

"Not when I take over it won't be!"

Duncan smirked."Well, for now, you're stuck putting up with me."

Heather cried out in frustration. "Fine! Do what you want! But I'm not leaving! _You're _the one intruding on _me._"

"Suit yourself. It's just as well since Courtney won't join me."

"Oh wonderful. First cliche relationship, now cliche sex behind the scenes of a reality show. It just figures."

Duncan glared at Heather. "My relationship with Courtney is not a cliche!"

Heather grinned. "Of course it is. She's the good girl, you're the bad boy. Ever heard of _Grease_? Been there done that!"

He sighed. "Whatever. It's more about what we're not doing than what we are doing anyway."

She laughed mockingly. "Courtney won't even put out for you?"

* * *

Geoff paused the tape. "Well, duh, of course Courtney doesn't put out! Isn't it obvious? Why do you think I went for Bridgette instead?"

Everyone gasped. Bridgette stared at him, shocked. "Are you saying that you're only with me because you think I'm _easy_?"

"Of course not, Bridge! I'd love you even if you weren't the best deep-throater I've ever met!"

Bridgette turned bright red. Steam started coming out of her ears.

Geoff looked confused. "Did I do something wrong?"

Izzy started giggling. "Yeah Geoff, you way screwed up! Even someone as crazy as me knows when I've gone too far! Actually, I never go too far!" She giggled again. "Hey, anyone want to see me lick my elbow?"

Bridgette stood up. "I can't believe you, Geoff! First you say Heather's hotter than me, and now you say I'm easy and talk about our private business in front of the entire viewing audience? I'm done with you!" She stormed off the stage.

Geoff looked horrified. "Bridge, wait! I didn't mean it!"

Izzy giggled. "Yeah, never compliment a girl on her blowjob skills unless it's in private! Justin and Owen both told me _I'm _th best deep-throater they've ever met!" She giggled again. "Justin, he looks perfect, but he's itty-bitty! I couldn't even find it at first, it was so small! But Owen's a different story! He was so big I had to use my whole esophagus to pleasure him! He's _huge_! Monstrous I tell you! And the whole time, he only farted ten times! What a catch!"

Trent's face turned green. "Can we _please_ get back to that Duncan and Heather clip?"

Beth went down to where Geoff left the remote and pressed play.

* * *

"Shut it!" yelled Duncan. "it's not funny! You know how tough it is to get some alone time to jack off here? Between sharing a trailer and communal bathrooms, it's pretty rough!"

"That's _so _ disgusting!" screamed Heather. "Now, I'm gonna be _blind _and _deaf_!"

He smirked broadly. "Well then you'll love hearing about my favorite thing to jack off to."

"_EW_, NO! DON'T TELL ME!"

"Remember that time your shirt got ripped off by that tree branch?"

"I am _so _going to hurl! I can't believe you would have the audacity to fantasize about me!"

He chuckled. "C'mon, you have to be at least a little flattered."

"_No. _I am _not. _You are so gross!"

"Alright, whatever. I'm gross, a perv, creepy, you name it. Doesn't change a thing. I have to say, though, it's probably your fault for not wearing a bra."

"Well, this shirt actually has a built in one. So I don't need to wear one." She shivered. "You don't want to see them now, anyway. They're all goosebumpy."

"You're cold?" He took off his shirt and handed it to her. "Here. The high from the weed I just smoked is keeping me going."

"You smoke weed? That is _so _gross!"

"Just put it on. Jeez. You're the cold one."

She slipped it on. "Thanks," she muttered.

"Are your boobies nice and warm now?"

Heather opened her mouth, then shook her head and closed it. Duncan laughed.

"Awww, I make you speechless. Say, I have to ask. Do my lips really taste like street?"

Heather blushed. "Well...no. Our lips didn't even touch enough for me to get a hint of anything. I said that to keep my dignity."

"Of course. Wanna find out?"

"No!"

He moved closer.

"No, Duncan! Get away from me!"

He moved even closer.

"I _mean _it! You are so going to--"

He covered her mouth with his and put his arms around her. She tried to move back, but after a few seconds closed her eyes and went limp. Ten minutes later, she shoved him off.

"I can't believe you just did that!" she shrieked. "I'm scarred for life!"

"You liked it! You know you did!"

"I did _not_!"

"Did too! Now, what do my lips taste like?"

She glared at him, then blushed. "Spearmint toothpaste."

"That's disappointing. Street is way cooler. You were...cherry chapstick?"

She just nodded.

"Nice. Wanna kiss again?"

She crossed her arms and looked away. He laughed.

"Course you do." He pulled her back to face him and kissed her again. This time, she didn't resist and put her legs around his waist. He put his hands under her shirt, or technically his shirt, and she pushed him away again.

"You are _such _a perv."

"I should've known it wouldn't last. You know, even bald, you're still gorgeous. You're probably the only girl in the world hot enough to look good without hair."

"Not even Courtney?"

Duncan froze. "Courtney! Fuck! Why did I do that?!"

Heather put her hand on his shoulder. "It's--"

"I'm such an ass! How could I do that?!" He got up and started walking.

"Duncan, wait!"

"Sorry, Heather! Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Wait!"

"Bye! See you at the challenge tomorrow!" He walked off-screen.

She looked down and touched the skull on her chest softly. "You forgot your shirt."


End file.
